Just to make it clear, I didn't intend to ruin it, it just kinda happened. One problem with being a guy who enjoys being a girl periodically is that you think you can turn your hand to anything after watching how to do it on youtube. Today was one such day. I was bored, sat waiting for the Virgin Media engineers to re-route our cable line, and I stumbled on these wee gems.
"BRILLIANT!" I thought to myself, "...no cash till payday, I want to get dressed tonight, but I'm just kinda bored with the clothes I have". Is this why girls, genetic girls have so many clothes? Do they just enjoy looking different? So with my mind made up, old t-shirt and scissors in hand, I was off, following the video as closely as I could recall.
Yeah, turns out my memory is as good as Dory from Finding Nemo.
It will come as no surprise to hear that the last week of march was particularly stressful for me and my better half. Fortunately we've become pretty proficient at it over the years as we're renters (don't ask, the British property market is a seller's one, let me tell you). But even despite our proficiency as a team, its never easy. Over the years we have nearly lost a cat, broken a bedside table and wardrobe (2 separate moves), permanently stained a cream carpet, smashed a ceiling light belonging to the landlord. One time we even forgot to arrange for a van.
This time however, none of the above happened. The day, and days leading up to it ran like clockwork, a well oiled machine, with the sole purpose of moving a couple's worldly possessions from one building to another. It was smoother than a pint of Bailey's poured over a freshly waxed bikini line while Morgan Freeman narrated the whole proceedings.
One great tip is to get all of your friends and family to pitch in. Including myself and the better half, there were 9 people on hand that day, using 3 cars and a large self drive van. Chuck them some lunch and they come back for more!
One downside to multiple persons helping you move is for every additional person you have to help you, you increase your paranoia of one of them discovering your Crossdressing supplies. Especially if a certain mother-in-law-to-be is particularly 'helpful' and unpacks suitcases for you while you're loading the van at your old place (as she has done previously). When you are in a relationship with, and live with a girl, its very easy to get away with having a few dresses, skirts and bras mixed in with your drab gear when you move, you can put it down to spacial efficiency (the fiances shoes take up an entire suitcase and then some), yeah thats it, there was no room anywhere else.
Okay so how do you get away with moving 3 pairs of 6" heels in a UK size 11, 3 wigs and 2 pairs of silicone breast forms?
Here's my best advice for the crossdresser's moving day. Wigs - they go in the internal flat, zip up pocket on the inside of suitcases. Shoes - Throw them in with your Mrs'. You will know which are yours, but the untrained eye will just see shoes and wont stop to think that those black patent courts are a bit longer than those other black patent courts. Breast forms - Keep em in a box, put them at the bottom of a box of assorted crap. Even the kindest, most 'helpful' mother-in-law-to-be wouldn't bother with that.
And keep your eye on the Mother-in-law-to-be. You've taken care of business, but still, just watch her. Women are crafty. But take my advice, and you wont go far wrong.
The alternative is to tape up your boxes really well and mark them all 'garage'. Now, where did my eyeliner get to?
